Saturday, December 20, 2008

The boy I hired for ..

It was my first day in that heavenly hill station called pachmarhi. I had a officer's meeting arranged there. though the meeting had already been started 2 days before and as a junior officer I had to finish my pending work before I landed up there.
I had arrived late in night. I hired a room in the hotel nearby.

The next day I woke up early in the morning. As its usual in every hill station to get tumulted by crowd of guides alluring u to opt for them. I denied them all and rushed to chai ka thela nearby. while I entered it and was savoring the hot tea in beautiful fresh morning..soon I saw a young boy well figured, brown tanned skin, innocent looks and a bit of shabby dress asking me ,"sir!! do u need guide?" I half cosciently answered him "yes!! I do" Maybe he wasnt a mirror cracking material but well figured brown hunk hardly hard to resist....and thick lips...a perfect combination of innocent face and strong body worth alluring me...I dunno i was carried on wid him....may be that might be called as love en prima facie

I finished my tea n asked him whether he wanted it but he refused and he was a bit hesitant I could guess out...a typical pastoral village boy and he was seem to be a tyro being a guide.
I walked on wid him...and my world of imagination went flying....I was walking along him..asking him about the place...his life...and the vicinity..

now my notty witty mind was curious to get closer to this adonis... i tried to make him more comfortable wid me...he said, "sir this is the echo point!!" I replied,"hey Nilesh, dont call me sid" he got ready as we were the same age..

Now I wasnt in mood to see the sightseeing..I wanted him desperately! I asked him about his family and got to know he is very poor and his family members live somewhere more remote place..he was astonish to find me so franka nd he too started being very frank to me It was a noon by then.. I said "hey shall we go back to room? " he agreed to it readily as he was tired too.we had our lunch.. he was very happy as I paid on his behalf for his lunch and it seemed after yonks he had a proper food.. we entered the room..

we sat on the bed. he wat yawning. i said hey dear u feel sleepy? he nodded. i said u can sleep here for sometime as im doing the same.. then we will be leaving for another places of interest. he was a bit hesitant and in quandarie to say yes or no... i held his hand and said come on yaar.. no worries.

i was so happy within to find such a hot boy sleeping near me.... it was a summer noon and all corridor was eyeried. i locked the door. and its just me and him now.. i noticed that he was already aslept.. i squeezed myself into that single bed as it was too congested but this was the only chance i was finding for....

I ensconced in that bed and curious to caress this sexy hunk and i dunno what made me so wild.. I took his hand in my hand and kept it on my chest. it was a big hairless hand. I slightly leaned towards him...i could sense his deep breathe as he was deep in sleep...I now fondled up my hand and fingers on his chest.. I slightly moved his shirt upwards and inserted my hand in under his

i put his hand over my tool but didnt dare to insert it. i slightly removed his shirt and started unbuttoning it...and rubbed my bare legs on his thighs..i leaned more on his side. and now i was almost over him..he moved a bit and that raised my heartbeat but soon all things were normal.. he was again deep sleep...

i was caressing his bare chest now as i had already unbuttoned his shirt..i started smeeling his arm hair.. and now i was more wilder.i started titilating him more vigorously n clutched him in my arms more torriedly and forcibly and n now i took his hand n inserted in my i approached his delicate lips and now i could a bit of shiever on his body but he was half awake and i didnt think abt what will be his reaction....
i wasnt at all in that condition to think anything beyond him and his body full of lust. i kept my lips on his lipz and started biting his lips more passionately and i could notice he was resisting himself a bit and he was waking up.. i didnt care and continued loving him. and now i slided my fingers on his thighs. and moved upto his crotch...from over his trousers.. it was getting hardened and i could hear him moan i knew he was awared what i was doing to him....

He was moaning wid the pleasure I was showering on him...I whispered to him,"hey sexy how ru feeling? " he just smiled and smirked and acting as if he wasnt awake..But his lack or resistance made me more wilder and I clutched him more forcibly near me, kissing his lips then gradually moved towards his neck, his chest and his navel. He was just shievering wid the ecstacy he was probably getting for the first time in his life and that too from a passionate lover like me..
I made his lean more on my side and kept my hand on his back to grip him i could feel some movement in his hands which i had placed in my undie..he held my erected shaft and was fondling as if he is to buy a bunch of bananas of that size..

I whispered again to him,"hey dear..u wanna see it?" to my surprise he immediately took out his hand out of my undie and now I was sure he was very hesitant and shy guy. I murmured again to him,"now i will show it to u 4 sure and u gotta see my buldge ravonously hungry for u". But he was acting as if he is aslept. I ordered him as if he was my slave,"open ur eyes lad!! see the length of my love for u" and without wasting my time I removed my undie and we were both nude ensconced in that single bed holding each other;s bodies tightly and our shafts rubbing each other as if two robust fighters next to each other. It was indeed a pleasurable feeling to be laid in that position..I dunnow what happened to me as I started whispering more and more and uttering his name,"Nilesh...Nilesh...aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

I took a dominant position on him now and started licking his all body...he was smiling wid pleasure as he was getting my titilations and roughness of my face. He was in heaven nine. Now I made him sleep wid his butts upside. Inserted my fingers in his pleasure hole..he raised his butts more for groping more of pleasure.. i now inserted two fingers and applied a petro jelly and wore the rubber barrier and went ahead wid my pleasure arrow to find its destination. As I was on my way, he held it wid his hand to resist me he got excruciating pain in initial but I paid no heed to him and continued. while at the same time i was savoring his smooth back and nape to kiss about.. I was now completely inside him and his resistance lowered and he too started synchronizing wid my bumps and love jostles to him...I was giving strokes over strokes..i still reminisce the chup-chupping sound while moving as we were both drenched wet as it was sunny noon time..and finally I reach my zenith of orgasm and exploded completely in him...
even after I was over but i was still lying on him to enjoy post ejaculation and I was gasping for the breath..
Hey I mumbled and whispered to him"My lovely guide u had really made me tour in heavens...thanks" as since first he said nothing..he remained silent this time too except the line of smile on his face...
Friendsz dont u dream such guide during ur tour????

One Night With My Cousin - My First Time!

“Mohan, come here,” mom called me.

I obliged as I moved out of the hospital lounge to the open air, and towards the place where my parents were standing along with some relatives. I could recognize the new addition to the group of people with whom I had come to see my granny in the hospital. One of my distant uncles and his son had joined us out of the blue! I would regard this sudden visit from them in that sense as I remember last seeing them almost five years back in my cousin sister’s marriage. They were guest on occasions.

“So, do you remember Pintu bhaiya?” My distant uncle asked.

“Wow! Yes I do, I saw you last in Seema didi’s marriage.” I spoke as I turned towards Pintu.

I was in class eight; we visited home as my grandma was suffering from severe stomach pain. Ultrasonography revealed a couple of stones inside the gall bladder, and that was the root cause of the pain. This had to be operated and removed right away. My own uncle and dad were responsible enough, and hence we were there.

Pintu had grown up to be a big boy. When I saw him last, he was thin and frail and it would seem that somehow the skin was placed around the skeletal structure, that too after a considerable effort! But, as I saw him then, I noticed that he had developed a good physique. Even when people wouldn’t consider him healthy, he did have an attractive stature, better than mine anytime.
We separated from the elders and went towards the hospital gate, near to the Neem tree so that we could strike some kind of conversation.
I started off, “What do you study now, Pintu bhaiya?”
“I am doing a B.Sc in Physics, this is my first year. You have grown up over the years, which standard are you in now?”
“Eighth, luckily I have my Diwali holidays now, otherwise I would have been at loss missing out classes,” I replied.
“And which school do you study in?” He asked.

“Delhi Public School.” I replied contentedly. I knew I was in one of the revered schools in India, and people obviously would have high regards for this school. As anticipated, he was pleased “That’s great to know. The last time you were somewhere else in some hill station right?”

“Yeah, that’s true, but life’s changed so much now. Dad got transferred to this place last year, and since then I have been reading here.”

“So, how do you find your new school? How are the teachers?” He continued.

“Yeah, I am pretty comfortable with my school friends and teachers like me as I am one of the toppers,” I smiled.

“Hey Mohan, that sounds really good. Am happy for you.”

“Pintu bhaiya, what brings you here?” I asked

“Oh! I didn’t tell you, Rita didi is getting married. We are here for shopping. We heard about your granny when we went to your house, and without wasting time we came here.”

I knew there would be obvious reasons for their visit; they had always been once in a blue moon!

I was happy that they would stay in our house for the night. I was staring at his feet while talking to him. At such a tender age I was not aware about the unwarranted love or lust that could exist between two boys, and also the ways to satisfy one’s physical needs. That concept was not under discussion yet within my friend’s circle, though we would talk about wanking, and the various possible ways a man could love a woman and the ways in which the woman could provide services to a man. I was yet to recognize my perverted needs, yet to undergo the so called process of self-realization about what I was interested in and why that way. But since my childhood I was always ecstatic about any boy’s feet. I remember how I would fantasize about licking and suckling the toe fingers of some of my classmates, or any boy who was decent enough to be noticed in my milieu, of course the “decent” term applied more to his feet rather than looks. I had done that couple of times with my cousin brothers whenever I used to sleep with them. Discreetly, after I was convinced that they were fast asleep, I would shift towards their feet, cuddle around them and then keep the foot on my face, chest and inhale the smell, lick it completely and suck the toe fingers, until I would be satisfied. Sometimes my aunty used to watch me snuggling around my brother’s feet, and she would just make a passé that since I loved him so much, I was having a nap near his feet. I used to get amused at her edition of rendering the clause. Though I’d love my brothers but I would do what I preferred to, rather than symbolizing anything out of compassion!

I liked Pintu’s feet, they were well-shaped, nails trimmed, actually good enough to attract a desire within me to sleep with him that night. I knew I had to make this happen. I wouldn’t let myself bogged down by the thought of not having the pleasure of inhaling the fragrance of his feet.

I didn’t have to try hard for this, it was quite consequential that I was offered to sleep with Pintu that night due to space constraints in the house, with so many well-wisher’s of granny thronging around to pay her visits and pray for her speedy recuperation.

“Mohan, can you give me a half pant or bermuda? I don’t have one with me for tonight.”

“Will mine fit you?” I was skeptical as I handed one to him.

“I hope so, let’s see,” he said, as he tried out, and it did fit onto him.

That night we were sharing the same blanket. We were alone in granny’s room. I slept beside him, we were having different pillows. I was waiting for him to get drowsy, as I had the intentions pretty clear in my mind. But somehow, I wanted him to know that I liked his feet.

“I am turning head to foot, I find the night lamp disturbing this way!” I explained as I followed what I said.

“In that case, shall I turn it off?” Pintu urged.

“No, that’s fine, don’t worry I would be ok.”

I pulled his right foot towards me and said “You can be cozy, you have nice feet anyways.” I placed my head on his left foot, and kept his right foot near my face, close enough to get the smell. He didn’t utter anything, and he also pulled my foot towards him.

Since he had worn shoes the entire day, there was a faint odour, but even I liked that as it was not foul. I placed his foot to cover up my lips and nose, so that I could as well taste it. All the while he just kept mum; I guessed he was quite comfortable with what I was doing. That gave me a positive indication of going ahead and with my movements. I started licking his feet, and I liked the flavour on my tongue. He didn’t mind that, as he felt his cheeks against my foot! I found this interesting. He had placed his right leg on my body, so that his foot was on my face and the other portion of the leg was over my body, with the knee on my esteemed member. I started enjoying the situation and more when he purposely pressed his knee against my area time and again. He also started exploring my hirsute legs, running his hand over the entire length of them. I took a cue; I did exactly what he was doing, and placed my hand on his crotch. I could feel a damn rock-hard elongated thing waiting to erupt out of the half pant he was wearing. He reciprocated, and as if he was aping me, he placed his hand on my property. It was a semi-numb mass, as nothing exciting had occurred till then.

I had seen my classmates’ organ, couple of times, as we would challenge each other on stripping, of course privately in some locked classroom. But, the one I felt then was something extraordinary; it was huge, out of comprehension, good gracious!

“I am turning your way,” Pintu said while executing that action.

I didn’t say a thing; there was not even an iota of apprehension within me about the course of actions that would initiate from then onwards.

He placed his hand on my chest and hugged me. In order to explore his groin, I was moving my hand near his waist; he facilitated my urge by creating a big gap for me. I quietly slid my hand inside, once again to get the feel of the enormous tool he possessed! I maneuvered over my area of interest.

Pintu started opening the buttons of my shirt, when he had finished unbuttoning the first four, he started massaging my nipples, and he squeezed them hard, until I would say “Ouch!” I placed his hand on my member, as I loved the way he fondled the same. He primarily concentrated on my nipples, though he would unzip me in a flash and feel my manhood! He started licking my nipples, I just moved him away, as I didn’t like that. I decided against allowing him to touch them again. He moved down all of a sudden and kissed my member. This had a titillating impact on almost all nerves in my body. I was curious what he would do next. He started blowing me!

Whatever happened till then had pushed me obliviously into a pool of dilemma, astonishment and ecstasy; the three components intertwined in a way a creeper would do to its host. My mind split into two parts; one part would advice me to pull off away from him as a terrible sense of guilt crept in me, that almost made me realize I had gotten a rendezvous with nemesis, while contemplating what I was doing in my granny’s room, feeling about how devoted and God–fearing lady that she was; the other part would urge me to allow him and finish it off, there was always a first time and specially when this was so scintillating, I thought!

I decided, for the sake of my parents, my relatives, and for the sake of this cousin of mine. I found it correct at that point of time; I wouldn’t let my physical pleasures bog me down. I didn’t need to think much over what was right and wrong. There was always a choice and the person to decide about the option was none other than me. I kept chanting “no” in my mind and pulled away from him.

“I need to go to the toilet.”

“Wait, please,” Pintu pleaded.

I didn’t wait, and he followed me, I didn’t look at him, I closed the toilet door, oozed out of my gun inside and stayed there long enough.

“What took you so long?” Pintu asked. “I had some stomach trouble,” I replied.
“Do you require some medicine?” Pintu was concerned. “No, I am fine, let’s go to sleep.”

I didn’t allow him to touch me during rest of the night. I averted any physical contact or progress he tried making. I had some obligations towards my ethics, the way I defined them at that point of time, which prevented me from doing so.

The next day, as if it was an unsigned protocol not to divulge what happened the previous night, I didn’t discuss, and also avoided eye contact with him. I didn’t care how long he had stayed in our house that morning, and later found out they had gone after lunch. I was a bit depressed about neglecting him the entire morning, as deep within me I felt some kind of affection emanating out for him. I started missing him when I felt bad that I didn’t even see him off.


Reader: Yaar tumhe use na nahi kehna chahiye tha
Writer : hehe... mujhe bad mein aisa hi kuch laga tha

Reader:I mean did u called him later and asked him how he was ????
Writer: "I met him once more after almost 3 weeks. In my cousin's sister-in-law's marriage. He was trying to get cozy with me. I ignored him completely. And I also didn't talk much with him. We never met after that. "

Prashant's Life Story

Prashant (not his real name) was very good in his studies. Throughout his academic career in school and college, he always stood first in his class and received one scholarship or the other, at district level, state level and at national level. After finishing his schooling, he went to the most prestigious Engineering College of the country, one of the IIT's, to study Computer Science. At IIT also, he passed with flying colours and then took admission in IIM for a post graduate degree in management and even before he could finish his degree, he got a well-paid job in a multinational company in a big city of India. Lucky chap, wasn't he? Well, read on if you think so.

Apart from giving all the above virtues to him, God had also chosen to make Prashant a homosexual. While in first year in college, he fell in love with one of his classmates. It all started with a short kiss for which his classmate had approached him. While Prashant allowed his mate, who was a very handsome boy, to have it, simultaneously he also kindled a small fire of love for his friend in his heart which became bigger and bigger as their physical relations became more and more intimate and within six months time when their relations reached the ultimate, he was already in deep love with his friend. What about his friend? He had fallen in love with Prashant, as he told Prashant later, the moment he saw him. Unable to remain separate even for a moment, they became two bodies with one soul. Always ready to help each other, they started living like husband and wife. Requesting the warden, they changed their rooms and became roommates. If one of them fell sick, the other used to take complete care of him which sometimes meant keeping awake full night. Prashant being better in studies than his friend, started helping him so that his friend's score also improved. Prashant's friend taught him scooter driving. In short, they were all for each other. Both of them were about 18 at that time.

In teenage, many boys start developing drinking habits. In their class also several boys started drinking. When Prashant saw these symptoms in his friend, he asked him not to indulge in this dirty habit. His friend promised him to stop this, but when Prashant saw him drinking for the second time, he warned his friend that he will sever all his relations with him if he did not give up the habit immediately and once for all. This brought his friend to the right path and his drinking habits were nipped in the bud. Same thing happened with smoking and Prashant refrained his friend from developing this habit also. Those were the happiest days of Prashant's life, or were the only days, as Prashant now says, when he lived. Other times of his life he has just spent or is spending without any purpose or meaning.

The Engineering degree course was of five years' duration. The last one year was very traumatic for Prashant. He started thinking what will happen after they pass out. Will he have to separate from his friend? Even the thought of it was terrifying. What can be done about it? He started making several plans. Can they take the job in the same city? It was not impossible. Initially, one of them will have to be content with a slightly inferior job. This was not much of a problem. It could be tolerated. However, his friend told him that it was not going to work, as soon their parents would start asking them for marriage and they will not be able to live together in the same house. Should they, then, run away from their homes and start life in an unknown city? This was also not acceptable to Prashant's friend, as it would mean that they were dead for their parents and other family members. Prashant finally suggested that if they couldn't live together, then they would remain unmarried throughout their lives, be faithful to each other and meet whenever possible. After all, some normal husbands and their wives also live in different cities due to various reasons like job or business etc.

But this was also not acceptable to his friend who said that it was not practical and the family and society would not let them do this. Nothing appeared to be working,

Time was fast running out. When it was only six months for their final examinations, Prashant started weeping bitterly sometimes in private and sometimes before his friend. His friend used to console him. He said that it may not be possible for them to live together, but they can remain in contact through letters. Though away from one another, they can still live like good friends and help each other in life. And whenever possible, they could meet also. However, it was no consolation for Prashant. This was not acceptable to him at all. He thought, after his friend marries, a girl would be his wife and what would he be? His keep? Impossible! If his urge becomes that great, he would pay to any beggar on the street and have it with him rather than giving himself the status of a keep. If he took his friend's suggestion then simultaneously he would also have to take a pledge that he would never never meet his partner again in his life, because if he met, his urge would not let him away from his friend. And if this happens, if his friend even touches his nail, at the very moment Prashant would fall in his own eyes. His body would become dirty and unholy. What was the use of having such a relation in which he had to take such a pledge?

When it was only one month left for their separation, Prashant started preparing himself for the inevitable. He made his heart hard like a stone, stopped crying, kept himself busy in his studies, and talked very little to his friend. His bodily relations with his friend almost stopped.

When the time for separation finally came, Prashant's friend took him in his arms for the last time and kissed him softly. The five year old relations which started with a kiss were ending with another. Tears wanted to roll out of Prashant's eye balls but he forcibly controlled himself. He just gave a blank look to his friend and separated from him.

When Prashant reached his home, he was not in his senses. He did not know what he was doing, what he was saying, where he was going. It was as if an unseen force was driving him. As if he was mesmerized. At his home, it was an atmosphere of joy and happiness every where. Prashant had become an Engineer. His parents, brothers and sisters, friends and neighbours, everybody was so happy. Every body wanted to celebrate. In their celebration nobody looked at Prashant or could see what was going on inside him. As Prashant's condition stabilized a little, he tried to look normal as far as possible. When anybody offered a pleasantry he returned a smile. When somebody cut a joke he laughed. But nobody could feel that Prashant's smiles were empty and his laughs were hollow.

For Prashant life had been a bed of roses so far but now a hard and rough surface was under his feet. Prashant was hardly 23 and the life had already finished for him. While at college, he was not able to remain separate from his friend even for a moment. He used to come home only in semester breaks when the holidays were for fifteen days or more. In shorter holidays he preferred to remain at hostel with his friend. Prashant started thinking what would be his life without his friend. How was he going to spend all his life without him now? He felt suffocated. He was undergoing acute pain. His condition was that of an out-of-water fish. During the last one year at college, Prashant used to forget his problems only when he was busy in his studies. But now there was nothing to study. His friend's face always remained before his eyes. He was unable to forget him even for a moment.

Near the outskirts of Prashant's town used to flow a small stream. Prashant would go there in the evening and sit near its bank. He used to think about the times he spent with his friend and also about what was in store for him. Tears would invariably come out of his eyes. Since there used to be nobody around at that time he made no efforts to stop them. Warm water of Prashant's eyes and cold water of the stream used to flow together. When it became too dark, he would return. Sometimes he would think what if he jumped into the stream! Within a second, there would be an end to his tale of woes.

But what would happen to his parents, who were so proud of him? What he was undergoing now will have to be borne by his parents. How would they be able to bear his loss, a loss of their 23 year old son when he was not able to bear the separation from his friend with whom he spent only about five years.

Prashant spent next three months with great difficulty and in acute pain. He used to get some relief only when he received a letter from his friend or when he was writing one to him. They used to write once in fifteen days. Mostly they wrote about the jobs appearing in newspaper, how to get application forms, where to apply and so on.

And then Prashant got admission in IIM. It was a great relief for him. At IIM he would be able to keep himself busy, he thought. He would also be able to meet his friend occasionally because he would get single room there. After joining IIM and settling there, the first thing which Prashant did was to invite his friend. When his friend came and took him in his arms, both of them started crying. Both were trying to persuade each other not to cry but both were crying themselves. Soon they realized that it was not possible for any of them to control his tears and so they let them flow freely. It was after more than three months that they were seeing each other. They were never away for such a long time before. There was so much to talk, so much to tell, so much to listen. Mostly they wanted to tell each other how difficult it was for them to remain separated. Prashant's friend stayed with him for three days and then he left. After this Prashant started calling his friend every three to four months for two-three days.

Once Prashant received a letter from his friend in which he had written that his parents hoped that immediately after passing out he would get a good job. However, it had not happened so even after six months and therefore the behaviour of his parents had become rude towards him. In a very sentimental letter his friend wrote that nobody except Prashant loved him in this world and therefore either he should call him to his hostel or he should come to his home. Prashant was very sad to read this. He knew that while he himself was very emotional, his friend was not so. Still he had written such a letter. It sure meant that he was having really tough time. His friend whom he loved more than his life was in trouble. What he could do to help him? Neither his friend could live indefinitely at IIM hostel nor was it possible for Prashant to live at his friend's home. Prashant only wrote to his friend that he should not lose heart and have courage. He also wrote that it was not possible for an engineer to remain unemployed for long. Soon he would get a good job and then everything will be alright.

Next time when Prashant's friend visited him, Prashant noticed that his friend had only one pair of good clothes. The same evening he bought two pairs of best clothes and presented them to his friend. His friend was surprised and asked why he was doing this since they had never gifted anything to each other before, not even when they were together at college. Prashant replied that since they were unable to live together, it was possible for his friend to forget him. He added that whenever he would put on those clothes he would remember him. Though Prashant was managing only on scholarship and was not taking any money from home, he was very happy to offer the present to his friend.

After some time Prashant received a letter from his friend that he had got a job and the behaviour of his parents was also good now. After completing his MBA Prashant also got a job. Now Prashant also started visiting his friend. They used to visit each other every five-six months for two to three days.

Thus they remained in touch for six more years after leaving the college. The next turn in Prashant's life came when he received a letter from his friend in which he informed that his marriage had been fixed and he would be getting married on a particular date. For last seven to eight years of Prashant's eleven years association with his friend, he had always been telling Prashant that a day would definitely come when he would have to marry. On the other hand Prashant could never accept the reality and always persuaded his friend to remain unmarried all his life. Now the time had come for Prashant to accept the reality. But Prashant was still not prepared for this. Prashant could simply not imagine his friend to be in somebody else's arms. The thought was acutely painful to him. Not knowing what to do, he did not reply to his friend's letter. After a few days he received another letter from his friend in which he had apologized to Prashant and wrote that he was helpless. Prashant still did not reply. Third letter came from his friend in which he had again asked Prashant to forgive him adding that the things were beyond his control. Prashant did not reply to this letter either. Then the letters form his friend stopped. About fifteen days passed. Prashant was restless. He wrote to his friend to visit him. His friend came and stayed for about a week with him. Prashant asked him to cancel the marriage. His friend was not to agree at all. Prashant then threatened to commit suicide and said that on his dead body only he would be able to marry. Ultimately his friend agreed and then only Prashant allowed him to leave.

It was decided that immediately after reaching his place, Prashant's friend would send an anonymous letter to the girl's side telling them that the boy was of a lower caste than they had disclosed.

As per the agreement, Prashant's friend was supposed to keep him informed of the developments. However, Prashant did not listen anything from his friend for about fifteen days. The day of his friend's marriage also passed. Still he had no information. Prashant then decided to visit his friend's native place and after performing overnight train journey he reached there. He found that his friend's marriage had already taken place. His friend did not talk to him much. He only said that since everything was at the final stage, he did not think it proper to do anything for cancellation of the marriage. Completely shattered and broken, Prashant returned.

Sun was still shining, rivers were still flowing, flowers yet blossomed and the birds still chirped but the world had changed for Prashant. Everything had finished for him. Now Prashant was all alone in this world. His friend had left him forever to wander in this vast world. Prashant locked himself in his room and started drinking. He was the same Prashant who had one day refrained his friend from drinking. Today he was drinking himself. He stopped going to his work and drank continuously. But wine was not helping him at all. Not even for a single moment Prashant could forget his friend. The charming face of his friend always remained before his eyes. Prashant's only companion of those days was an old servant who used to cook for him and did other household chores. When Prashant did not attend his work for about two months he lost his multinational job.

Prashant spent about six months in this shattered state of mind. He was away from his home-town in a distant state. He did not write anything to his parents because there was no hope of getting any help. On the contrary, his problems would have increased. He would have faced an volley of questions, how it happened, what are you doing now, you come here, try for another job and so on. After six months his pain started reducing a little. Now he started looking towards other things. The first major responsibility was to look for another job. His accumulated savings of last four years had almost been fully spent on wine and other requirements. He started applying for jobs and after about two months he got a job in a Govt. company. This job was much inferior to his multinational job. But Prashant had no other alternative than to accept it.

This job was in a city which was closer to his home-town. After he got settled in his new job and city, his parents started visiting him and started pressurizing him for marriage. Prashant simply refused. He said that he did not even want to talk about it. However, he found that gradually not only his parents, but his relatives, friends, colleagues, neighbours and everybody in the world whom he knew started pressurizing him for it. Whenever anybody came to meet him, he only talked about his marriage and nothing else. It appeared to him that there was no other topic in this world for the people to talk about other than his marriage. The people simply did not give up. He talked to them rudely, almost insulted them, even told them to leave his place, but with no result. The people appeared to have infinite patience. Whosoever had a girl of marriageable age in this world, started visiting Prashant in his house and office. God alone knew from where did they all get his home and office addresses. Prashant got tired of saying no to them.

Prashant's health had been severely affected during last eight months due to his sorry state of mind and taking excessive wine. Moreover in this new place he used to eat outside since he did not know cooking. Many times he felt lazy to go to a hotel and slept hungry. This also affected his health badly. He started falling sick very often and had continuous fever. Sometimes he would start shivering in office and his colleagues would point it out to him. When Prashant visited the doctors, they gave him medicines but advised not to take them on empty stomach. Many times Prashant could not take the medicines since he neither wanted to cook nor wanted to go out to eat at the restaurant.

Prashant had an elder sister who was not having good relations with her husband and her in-laws. She had hired a house for her and was living separately along with her children. This was continuing for several years and there appeared no possibility for rapprochement. Her husband was not giving her any financial support and she managed on her own with difficulty. Prashant thought, if she can live separately in the same town, then she can live with him also in his city. This way Prashant will have someone to look after him and her sister's financial problems will also be solved. He, therefore, after some persuasion, brought his sister and her children to live with him. However, all their relatives, friends, and neighbours etc. started asking why she was living with Prashant. Such questions were being put to both Prashant and his sister. Prashant boldly told that his sister's in-laws were not treating her well and therefore she would now live with him. But this was no satisfactory answer for the people. Everybody had a daughter, either his own, or his relative's, or his friend's or somebody else's whom he wanted to marry with Prashant. Therefore the solution which Prashant and his sister had found to help each other was not acceptable to them at all. It was almost a crime for them.

People started telling his sister that she purposely wanted that Prashant does not marry so that she keeps getting financial help from him. They started so much interference in Prashant's house that his sister became mentally imbalanced and started quarelling with Prashant and in less than six months she had to return.

And this was the time when Prashant started thinking about his marriage. Somebody was required to take care of him. It was four years since his friend got married. He had no news about him since then. Neither would he ever like to get any throughout his life. Prashant also knew that he would not get any other partner. After all, homosexuals are not available on demand. Especially one who may live with him for his life. Every day thousands of matrimonials are published in newspapers but not even a single one is for him. He had already accepted the reality that he would have to live without sex for his remaining life. With nobody to give courage to him, with no possibility of getting any help from any where, with nobody to show him the right path, he decided that the next time if any proposal came he would not say no. He had been resisting it for about ten years, but now he would surrender before the family and society pressure and his circumstances. What about sex with his wife? Prashant planned that he would do acting in bed to please her.

And sooner than he thought, it happened. Relations in our country for the boys of marriageable age are available in such a great number that even before your asking for one, hundreds will be ready. His parents brought a relation and in a week moment, by a nod of his head he accepted it and Prashant's 'marriage' was performed. Thus was committed by Prashant the biggest mistake of his life. And another tale of Prashant's woes started. Prashant could not give shape to his plan of acting in bed. He could not perform at all. He did not have any taste for his wife's body though she was very beautiful. He did not like a woman's touch.

He hated it. It used to be over before he started. In less than five minutes everything used to get finished. It was a burden on him. He was scared of the nights. Come evening and he wished that he could run away somewhere. He felt like getting raped every time he did it. And his frequency became lower and lower. Initially it was once a week, then it reduced to once a month and finally once in several months. However, Prashant got two children with his relations from his wife within five years, first a daughter and then a son.

It is evening. Prashant has returned from office. His wife has had a hair-cut and has put on a new sari. She expects Prashant to tell whether the beautician has done a good job. She also wants to know how the sari looks on her. However, Prashant does not say anything as he has not noticed anything. All day his wife has been alone waiting for him. Now she wants to talk to him. She prepares tea for him and herself and sits near him, her body touching Prashant's. Her touch is uncomfortable for Prashant. However, he tolerates. His wife starts talking. Within a few minutes her touch becomes very uncomfortable for Prashant and he shifts a little to avoid her touch. His wife notices it. She is hurt. She stops talking and looks at Prashant. Prashant is avoiding her looks and seeing somewhere else. She controls her feelings and again starts talking. Several things have happened in the day. She wants to tell everything to Prashant. One of her friends has bought a new type of dress. She also wants to buy a similar one. She knows that if she asks for money, Prashant would give it to her, but she wants Prashant to accompany her to the market and help her in selecting a good one. Summer vacations are approaching. The neighbours are going on an excursion trip to a hill station. She also wants to go for a trip with Prashant, not necessarily to a hill station, just to some near- by place. The maidservant is asking for more money. She wants an advice from Prashant.

She keeps on asking questions but Prashant doesn't reply to any. She repeats her questions but still no response comes from Prashant. She realizes that whatever she has been talking for last ten minutes, Prashant has not heard anything. She is deeply hurt. She gives an ugly look to Prashant, gets up, goes to the bedroom, and lies down. Within a few minutes, Prashant listens the sounds of her sobbing. He is dumbstruck. He knows that he must go to the bedroom, take her in his arms, console her, and assure her that he loves her. But he has only his sympathies for her and no love. He will have to do acting. All his life he has been doing acting. He is tired of acting. No more acting now. He keeps sitting, glued to his place, listening to her sobbing, his head bowed down in shame.

Prashant prefers to sit alone and remain lost in his memories. He has lived a long life. He has a wealth of memories, the painful moments which he has lived. He keeps thinking about them. And when the tears roll out of his eyes, he gets relief. This is the only pleasure, he can hope for. This is the only happiness he will ever get in his life.

Lost in his memories, Prashant is thinking - He had come to his home in semester break. There he had fallen sick. He had very high fever in the night and was lying in bed in almost semi-conscious state. In the morning when he woke up, his elder sister, who had been nursing him, had asked - Prashant, who is R.....? Prashant was stunned. He has not told anybody in this world about his friend. How, then, does she know his name? He started stammering - N...N...No...No...Nobody! Nobody? - His sister was surprised - But you were taking his name in your sleep. You were calling him. Several feelings developed in Prashant's heart. Anxiety, happiness, worry, satisfaction, shyness. However, hiding all his feelings, Prashant maintained - I do not know anything. I might be dreaming something. His sister had not argued much with him and the matter was forgotten.

After returning to the hostel, Prashant had told his friend about it. As he was narrating the incidence, his friend kept staring at him in disbelief. Then suddenly he pulled Prashant towards himself and holding him tightly in his arms, started kissing him like a mad. Prashant tried to say - What happened...O dear...why? However, his friend had not allowed him to say anything. He had sealed Prashant's lips with his own. After his passion subsided, he lifted Prashant's chin and looked straight into his eyes. Prashant could clearly see - His friend's eyes were moist and he was asking - Prashant, you love me so much? Why you love me so much Prashant? What have I given you? Prashant wanted to say several things. He wanted to say - You have given me the purpose of life. You have given me the meaning of living. I am nothing without you. You are like Sun and I am like earth. I keep revolving around you. You are like God and I am a soul. I want to get assimilated in you. I want to lose my identity into yours. You are a big and strong shady tree and I am a thin and weak creeper. I cannot grow without your support. However, Prashant could not say anything. He simply hid his face in his friend's wide chest. Yet his beating heart said everything and through the soft warmth of his body his friend listened everything. He kept Prashant in his arms for a long time affectionately combing his hair by his fingers as if Prashant was a small child. Where is his shady tree today? Why he has been snatched away from his arms? The thin and weak creeper has fallen on the ground. It will never grow now. It is lying there unattended, uncared-for, waiting for its long, slow and painful death.

Prashant's wife was a postgraduate in science. She was a sweet natured girl. But now, her behaviour has become very bad. She has become abnormal as she did not get any love or proper sex from Prashant.

She has started quarreling with Prashant on all small and big issues, keeps shouting on him, abuses him and his family members, curses her own parents that they married her to Prashant and so on. She also many times hits Prashant and sometimes even slaps him. She speaks in such an abusive and vulgar language which even the prostitutes at a brothel would be ashamed to listen. Prashant tolerates all this because he knows that he is at fault, because he had no right to marry her, because he has spoiled her life. He must tolerate it because he is a sinner, because his habits are dirty, because the society hates him, because the God's curse has fallen on him, because he is a homosexual. But sometimes, he loses his patience and he also starts shouting in equally abusive language and hits his wife. They start physically fighting like a dog and a cat. Even a lowest class labourer or sweeper will be shocked to see them fighting like this. All this they do right in front of their children and when their neighbours are listening. Nobody can imagine that both of them are highly qualified. The matter ends after Prashant has badly hit his wife using not only his hands but also legs and after she starts crying and locks herself in the bedroom. The children remain frightened. For two to three days no food is cooked at home, and both Prashant and his wife remain hungry. For the children, Prashant gets something from a nearby restaurant.

While Prashant has no affection for his wife, he loves his children very much. He explains it like this - a normal man equally divides his love between his wife and children, but in my case it is all concentrated on my children only. However, it has made an adverse affect on his wife. She has became jealous of her own children because they get so much love from Prashant and she doesn't get any, and she frequently beats and abuses them without any reason, she does not give them food, does not care about their studies.

She says when nobody cares about her, why should she take care of anybody. Many times when Prashant returns from office, he finds his children in tears telling him that their mother has hit them badly and has not given them anything for lunch. And she would not cook dinner either as she has closed herself in her room. Then Prashant cooks for his children. He does not know much cooking, only a few simple things he can prepare. Sometimes Prashant also becomes arrogant. He has returned hungry and tired from his office. There are problems in office also which he has to attend and solve. Then there are so many problems at home. He cannot do anything for these children. Who asked them to take birth in his home? If this is their fate then he cannot help. And he also does not cook for them. That day his children sleep hungry.

Late in the night when Prashant's anger subsides, he gets up and goes to the children's room. He wants to give some food to them, or perhaps he can warm up milk for them. But the children are fast asleep. It is not proper to wake them up at this hour. Prashant's heart goes out to his children. What is their fault? Why they have to suffer so much? He sits near them on their bed and passes his fingers in their hair and kisses them. Then he consoles himself that in the morning he would get up very early and prepare something for them and will keep it ready before the children get up.

Why is Prashant's wife so cruel towards her own children? It is because Prashant loves them. They are the only thing which Prashant has got from his life. They are an asset to him. He forgets his miseries when he sees their face. He feels happy when he takes them in his arms. Prashant's wife knows it very well. Prashant is her enemy. Where should one attack one's enemy? Definitely where one is weakest. Prashant's children are his weakness. Therefore being cruel to the children will hurt Prashant to the maximum.

She has long back forgotten that they are the same children whom she protected in her belly for nine months.

Prashant's children, who are not getting any love from their mother, are growing abnormal. Their growth is retarded and they are poor in their studies. Yes, the children of such an eminent father are poor in studies. They love their papa very much from whom they get the love of father as well as mother. But Prashant cannot live with them throughout the day. He has to attend office. They have to live with their mother whom they are very much afraid of. Prashant's children will grow up eccentric and abnormal. They will marry and give rise to unhappy and abnormal families. And the chain will continue.

Who is at fault? Prashant, who had no desire for a woman's body, whom the society forcibly married to a woman and who could not act in bed? His wife, who never got any thing from her husband which was her right and who became a half lunatic? Their children, who never got any love from their mother and who are constantly living in fear? Who will answer this question?

Shouldn't Prashant be content with what he has got? Shouldn't he understand that he would not get any man for love? He has only his wife. Why doesn't he try to love her? He is highly educated. He should try to avoid disintegration of the family. Prashant says - Life is the name of mutual caring and sharing of your partner's small pleasures and sorrows, of feeling happy in sacrificing your own minor requirements and needs for your partner's. Such feelings are completely missing in me for my wife. I simply don't feel happy in my wife's day-to-day minor pleasures, I simply don't feel sorry in her problems. I remain neutral unless she is facing some big trouble. Contrast this with my feelings for my friend. If even a pin hurt him, I was deeply pained. Probably sexual feelings are necessary for loving your partner. I am concerned about my wife but I do not feel any affection for her.

If Prashant cannot love his wife, why can't he treat her as his friend? Friendship has been given a higher place than even love among good virtues of life. People have been found to give their life for friendship. Prashant answers it like this - A friend is one from whom we do not hide anything, one who knows everything about ourselves. But in my case, each and every aspect of my personality, my reality, my needs, my desires, my requirements, everything is hidden from my wife. How can she be my friend?

Of late Prashant's life has taken an ugly turn. But before we tell it to you, it is necessary to describe an event which happened with him while he was studying in Engineering. Then Prashant was in his teenage and looked cute. Out of about 50 boys of his class, more than half were after him. However, Prashant had already got his friend whom he considered as his husband. Therefore whenever any other boy approached him for sex, he used to scold him badly. Due to this or otherwise two boys of his class one day tried to rape him. It was a summer evening and almost all the boys of the hostel were out to playgrounds. Prashant had no interest in games. He was taking bath in the bathroom under the shower. The walls of the bathroom were only about 7 feet tall and were not touching the ceiling. There were no clothes on Prashant's body. Suddenly a boy of Prashant's class scaled the walls of the bathroom and jumped inside. He was in complete nude. He asked Prashant to allow him to have sex with him or he would do it forcibly. The boy was very tall, hefty and robust. With a short height and small body, Prashant was no match for him. There was no use shouting since the bathrooms had been constructed at the end of a wing containing fifteen rooms in a line and were far away from the central portion of the hostel where somebody might be present. Moreover, the main door of the room containing bathrooms and toilets etc. had already been closed by the boy as he told Prashant. He had switched off the lights also.

What was Prashant to do? How was he to save himself? The boy would not listen to any of his requests to spare him. Prashant's mind worked fast. And he thought of a trick. Though he was tense, he made his face very soft and his voice as sweet as possible and told the boy that he was himself very much interested in having sex with him, but what was the fun doing it in a small one metre by two metre bathroom on a hard and wet floor. Prashant told the boy that after taking bath he would himself come to his room where they could enjoy comfortably. And his trick worked. The boy got convinced and he left the bathroom again scaling the walls.

However, as soon as he left, another boy, who was also Prashant's class mate and equally hefty and tall, came in scaling the walls. He was also totally naked. He did not even have patience to talk to the earlier boy and ask him what had happened. Prashant, therefore, repeated his trick and was again successful. While the boy was leaving, Prashant, who was very much afraid, asked him whether anybody else was also waiting to take his turn, to which the boy replied that there was nobody and therefore Prashant need not worry. Prashant, in that tough moment also smiled thinking that the rascal came to rape him and now he was trying to be affectionate.

After Prashant returned to his room and bolted the door from inside, he found the boys knocking his door continuously for about two hours before they gave up. When Prashant narrated the incidence to his friend, he advised him to take evening bath a little late when all the boys have returned from the playgrounds. He also advised Prashant to carry a sewing needle with him to the bathroom to protect himself. However, Prashant decided not to report the incidence to the authorities since it would have earned a bad name for Prashant also.

Now about the turn in Prashant's life about which we were talking. One day he read in a magazine that there are certain parks in the city, where homosexual men meet and find their partner. He thought of visiting these parks and started waiting for the opportunity. And soon he got it. His wife left for her parental house along with the children and he was left alone in the house for ten days. Then he started visiting those parks. On the first day he found a 20 year old boy sitting alone reading, or pretending to read, a newspaper. He continued looking at him for a long time, but being totally inexperienced, he did not go very near to him and the boy also did not notice Prashant. After a long time a man came. He sat near the boy. Then he borrowed the newspaper from the boy and started reading it. After this he started talking to the boy. Finally both of them got up and started moving outside the park. The man placed his arm on the back of the boy. They continued moving here and there for some time. Prashant was following them. Finally they came to the parking. The boy had a motor-bike. They climbed the motor-bike and left the place.

For next four days Prashant kept on visiting the parks and he saw similar things but he could not get any partner for himself. On the sixth day, he found a 25 year old boy sitting alone at a lonely spot in the park. The boy appeared to be belonging to a low class and was not suitable for Prashant. However, Prashant's urge was high. He had not touched any man for about twelve years. Therefore Prashant was not ready to miss the chance. He kept looking at the boy from a distance. When nobody came near the boy for a long time, Prashant went nearer to him and started wandering about him. He then noticed Prashant, called him and asked him to sit near him. Prashant obeyed. Then he started talking to Prashant. Such a long time had passed for Prashant being away from his earlier partner that it was almost like a new experience to him. His whole body was shivering with sensation.

He was unable to reply to him. His condition was exactly the same as that of a bride on the first night, first moments. When the boy found that Prashant was not answering to any of his questions, he said - "Arre! Bolte nahin!" (Why don't you talk!). Slowly Prashant started answering to him by the movements of his head and finally he also started talking. The boy told Prashant that he lives alone in his house and if he wanted they could enjoy.

The boy was a motor mechanic. The place where he lived was a colony where low class people live. Prashant started thinking should he go with him. Was he to have it with such people? He was undecided. He finally told the boy that he had some work at that time and would not be able to come with him at that moment but asked the boy his name and the telephone number of the garage where he worked.

Next two days there was a continuous argument between Prashant's heart and mind. His mind said how could Prashant even think of going with such a low class man which in no way can be a match for him. However his heart replied that who could remain away from sex for such a long time. This boy also he got after hunting for six days. Moreover within a day or two his wife would be arriving and he would never get the chance again. Finally Prashant's heart won the battle. He telephoned the boy and asked him to come to his house.

What Prashant is up to? What is he going to do? Great heavens, why don't you fall? Mother earth, why don't you split? Isn't there anybody who can stop Prashant? O Prashant, you are the same person who one day so tactfully and proudly saved his body from two of his classmates under very adverse conditions. They belonged to good families. They were Engineers. Still you did not prefer it with them. What has happened to you now? O God, do something to save Prashant.

But nothing happened. God did not help Prashant. Skies didn't fall. Earth didn't split. And Prashant spoiled his body. At the age of about 41, he lost his chastity to a person who was at best suited to be his servant. He did not care for his social status. He did not worry about his education. How many Indians can hope to get the education which Prashant received? People covet it. It is a feat for them. Who could have imagined that Prashant would have such a downfall?

And once spoiled, Prashant could never recover. He did it daily for next few days with that boy till his wife returned. Prashant did not stop even after this. He started going to the motor mechanic's dirty house in his dingy colony. And through him he obtained some other contacts also. Prashant started doing it regularly. Whenever he gets time, he visits those parks and hunts for people.

Sometime ago, Prashant also started hunting for people on Internet. Here the people are good. They are educated and belong to good families. However, on the Internet there is a danger. He has to send several e-mails to a friend before they decide to meet. These e-mails gradually start becoming emotional and Prashant tends to fall in love with his e-friends. He almost started loving several of his such friends even before seeing them. Then he started having acute pain. His old wounds which his friend had given him one day almost got renewed. Therefore Prashant does not prefer Internet. He has now closed his affairs on it. He has understood that he has only right to have crude sex. He does not have right to love anybody. Therefore it is better to go with dirty people with whom he cannot fall in love.

Prashant knows what he is doing is wrong. A continuous fight goes on inside him between his urge and the consciousness of his guilt. Sometimes his consciousness wins. And then Prashant stops wandering here and there. But within six months his urge becomes too great and he again starts. He has two personalities, which keep on fighting with each other.

He is torn in two pieces.

Prashant wants to die. But he cannot commit suicide. What will happen to his children? What will happen to the lady who lives with him and whom the people call his wife? At least he is giving economic support to her. At least he is giving her social security. At least he is giving her a roof to live under.

Why is Prashant so unhappy with life? Why can't he consider himself to be a widow? After all a window also does not get any love or sex for life. Prashant says - a widow does not have anything to hide. People are aware of her problems and are sympathetic to her. Can I tell anybody what are my problems? Can I disclose to my friends or relatives what is the cause of my difficulties? The pain of concealing one's identity even from one's nearest and dearest ones throughout life is so great that the analogy does not go very far.

Today Prashant has become about fifty years old. He looks like a man but he is just a corpse which can walk. He is slowly burning and melting like a candle. But his end is still nowhere in sight. homosexuality is his only dirty habit. He has never developed any other bad habit in his life. His tastes are good. He enjoys only very high quality literature. He is pained at the increasing vulgarity in electronic and print media. He does not watch Indian TV and cinema as they are highly sub-standard. He has been a strict vegetarian and a complete teetotaler throughout his life except for his setback period when he started taking wine. He prefers homemade food. His health is good. Therefore he would need at least 25 more years to die if not more. As he is growing older, his urge for getting love is increasing rather than reducing. He wants to live with one man. He does not want multiple sex. He is not satisfied with crude sex.

He wants to have it with someone whom he loves, someone who loves him, someone who lives with him in his house, who eats with him, who sleeps near him on the same bed, in who's arms he feels as safe and secure as a child in his mother's arms and who will never leave him alone. But it cannot happen. The society will never tolerate it. It has got its own ways. Prashant is nobody to choose his own life style. Even if it does not hurt anybody. The society can allow thousands of open ads published daily in all newspapers in which heterosexuals seek BM girls and ladies for sex in the name of penfriends! The society can also allow unambiguous ads of health clubs/physical fitness centres supplying boys to homosexuals in hotels in the name of messieurs! What a great definition of BM'ness! What a beautiful way of keeping oneself fit! Will the same society allow Prashant to issue an ad seeking his life partner? Never! It is wrong! It is unethical! It is against nature!

It was Prashant's birthright to have a life-partner. It was his basic human right to get married to a person of his choice. His human right has been violated. Where does he go? Whom should he complain? Who would do justice with him? This society owes an answer to him. But it will not give him that answer. Because it is adamant. Because it is thoughtless. And because Prashant is in minority and he cannot come out in the open shouting for his rights.

Weeping uncontrollably in a counselling centre, Prashant says - How high I felt when I scolded boys other than my partner approaching me for sex. I wanted to be a Sita but I ended up being worse than a prostitute. A prostitute sells her body for her survival. She has no other alternative. But I do it for satisfying my bodily lust. Moreover, the way I am going with people, any day I will catch AIDS. And through me my wife will also catch it. If both of us die, what will happen to my children?

Prashant adds - Today I have to contend with this small job which gives me just enough to feed my family of four. I have lost the inclination, desire, courage or ambition for more. Had I been allowed to marry my friend, we together could have established a big company or started an industry. We would have progressed much and would also have helped in the progress of our nation. But it was not acceptable to the society. It was more interested in suppressing my needs, crushing my desires, and ruining my life. And along with mine several others. What could have gone wrong had I been permitted to live with my friend? We would not have done any crime, we would not have raped women, we would not even have increased the population of this country. We could have adopted destitute children and given home to them. Unnecessarily I increased the population of this earth by two.
He suggests to the parents of young boys - if your son continuously refuses to marry without any apparent reason, explore this possibility by asking him and if you find that it is true then this is the time for you to give him maximum love and care, more than what you gave him when he was a baby. Never scold him, never hate him. He is not a dirty person. He is a good boy. Only he is different. Tell him that you understand. Tell him that he should not get disheartened. Tell him that you are there to look after his needs. Ask him who is his best friend. Ask him with whom he would like to spend his life. And once he tells you, talk to the parents of the other boy and arrange a separate house for them to live in, if possible in a different city. And never forget to bless the boys as you would bless your son and daughter-in-law. Don't ever think that they would be doing dirty things behind the door. Because you son and daughter-in-law would also do the same thing. There is no difference. Just there is no difference.

If you failed in your duties, your son, the apple of your eyes will burn in a slow fire throughout his life and the process will end only with his death which will be very far, very very far.

Prashant says - I got married because I did not have any friend and there was no hope also to get one. Had my friend not left me alone in this world, I would have never married whether I was allowed to live with him or not. When I agreed for marriage I had mixed feelings. My parents and others were irritating me for years and my heart revolted. It cried - bloody fools, why can't you understand that there must be some problem if I am constantly refusing it? O. K. if you want this, then let it happen. If you want me to spoil the life of a girl, then let it be so. I forgot that I was only harming myself, the girl whom I was to marry and my future children. Nobody else was to lose anything. My parents happily died and the self-proclaimed well wishers never turned back to see what way we were spending our life. Now I sincerely feel that instead of revolting and taking the wrong step I should have disclosed my reality to my parents. I should have gathered a little courage and probably written a letter to my father if face to face talk was not possible. While it cannot be disclosed to the society, I could have disclosed it within the family. It would have solved many problems.

To the young boys, Prashant suggests - Never bow down to the pressure of the society and get married. It is your life and only you will decide how you want to live it. Nobody else has any control over it. Not even your parents. Society will butcher you if you don't resist. Take lesson from my example and my ruined life. It is very easy these days to get a good partner with the help of the Internet. Make one partner and live with him throughout your life. Hire or buy a separate house for yourself.

Don't live with your parents. And be careful. Since there won't be any social binding on you and your friend, it will be very easy for you to get separated from him in case of slight misunderstanding or quarrel. Avoid it with all your might. Bind yourself with your friend in other ways. Bind yourself economically. Make huge purchases like a house, car etc. in joint names with shared money. Make big investments in joint names. Do everything jointly. Give everything you have to your friend. And never never be unfaithful to him. Do not run after multiple sex. The feeling of loving and getting loved by somebody is much more enjoyable than having sex with many people.

Prashant says - Homosexual is the dirtiest word in our society. He is considered dirtier than a crawling insect of a gutter. People laugh at him, ridicule him, hate him, and hurl abuses at him. He is untouchable. Why? Simply because he is different than others? Because he is in minority? Because he goes hunting for people for sex. But many heterosexuals also do the same. A homosexual hunts for people because he must. There is no other alternative for him. But heterosexuals do it simply in their greed for more. Yet they are not seen with much disrespect. Nobody hates them. They are not untouchable for anybody. Prashant knows about a married person having two children who, at the age of about 45, has already done sex with more than 35 ladies and proudly he keeps on announcing this among his friends. Nobody disrespects him, nobody hates him. People talk to him normally though they are aware of his habits. Even Prashant talks to him normally since he treats Prashant with respect and Prashant finds no reason to peep into his personal life.

Prashant wants to advise the people that whenever they come to see a homosexual, then rather than hating or ridiculing him they should think - Oh! He is a homosexual. He is a very unfortunate person. He must be passing very bad times. The God has deprived him of the basic right given to all human beings, animals, birds, and even insects. Whereas I get it daily without any effort, he has to hunt for it for days and months. Still he gets only a few moments of crude pleasure. He cannot love one with whom he gets this pleasure. He cannot love anybody. How miserable! I should talk to him with sympathy and respect. Let us all take a pledge that we human beings will rectify the mistake which God does and keeps on doing. We will give the right of marriage to them. They also have every right to live like a human. Homosexuals are also educated people. They are not less than anybody else. They also work for the society and take an equal part in the betterment and progress of their nation. The society fully enjoys the fruit of their labour. But what does it give them in return? Insults, abuses, hatred, tears, sorrows, and sufferings! How can it be so selfish?

Prashant says - If you still think that homosexuals are really dirty people, then advise the Government to develop killing centres for them where they are administered a strong poison which kills them instantaneously. The Government can charge them for the cost of the poison and for disposing the body. Either give a homosexual his rights or kill him. There is no other alternative.

Prashant warns - I was fortunate that right in my days of puberty, I got a partner with whom I was associated for 11 years. Most homosexuals are not so fortunate. Immediately after attaining the adulthood, they start doing stray sex which goes on till their death. A homosexual does sex with hundreds of people in his life. Today Internet has made it very easy for homosexuals to meet.

In print media also some ads of homosexuals have started appearing for searching partner in the name of friendship. In future the spread of AIDS and other STD's is going to be very fast since almost all homosexuals ultimately marry and thus women also get infected. What the society doesn't realize is that it is sitting on a volcano.

Prashant says - The only argument against homosexuality is that it cannot produce children. Do we need more children? What is the biggest problem of mankind today? The heterosexuals have created a havoc on earth. Homosexuals constitute only about two percent of any population. Others are bisexuals and heterosexuals. What harm can be caused if these two percent people do not produce children? And if we really fall short of people, the homosexuals will be ready to donate their semen which can be used by any desiring women to produce children by artificial insemination. The medical science is progressing. More ways of producing children will be invented. There is already a talk of human cloning. Why to force intercourse between a homosexual and a heterosexual just to produce a child? And what means do we adopt for forcing such intercourse? We marry them and ruin their lives!

Now Prashant has thought of a solution to his problems. He owns a house in a good colony of the city which is worth about forty lakhs of Rupees. He also has about twenty lakhs of Rupees in the form of shares and other securities which is his life long saving. He also owns a car and other household amenities. Can he get a man who, in exchange of all this wealth, might be ready to marry his wife and give love of a father to his children? His wife is very beautiful for her age and his children are very sweet. Any bachelor or widower of suitable age will be acceptable to Prashant provided he loves Prashant's wife. Prashant will distribute the money equally between his wife and the man who agrees for this. Then Prashant will travel to a distant city and will stay in a hotel under an assumed name and address.

He will then take an overdose of sleeping pills and will die peacefully. Nobody will ever know who died and why. A mistake which God did, which the society could not correct, Prashant is ready to rectify. He has set up a profile of his wife with a matchmaking program on the Internet describing his plan and he is waiting for the responses.
There is not only one Prashant on this earth, but millions. And many more will take birth.
How many more Prashants will have to sacrifice their lives on the altar of your own whims and fancies which you keep imposing on others, before you wake up?
To how many more ladies will you deny their basic right of getting love of their husbands and make them lunatic, before you think?
By how many more persons will you unnecessarily increase the population of this already populous earth by forcing unwanted marriages between homosexuals and heterosexuals, before better sense prevails on you?
And how many more children would you like to grow physically and mentally retarded by snatching away the love of their mother from them, before you have mercy?
O heartless world, are you listening?